There are days when I am painfully aware I am officially and orphan. My brother always seems to have coped with the passing of my parents so much more gracefully than I have. This doesn’t mean he doesn’t mourn the passing of these wise wonderful people, I just don’t think he laments the loss as openly as I do. Above are my parents. My Mother passed away 16 years ago April 10th (which seems brutally impossible) and my father will be gone 10 years on March 20th….as the old saying goes where did the time go.
I miss everything they were….my father was a child of the depression…he lived a remarkable and interesting life…my mom was a strong and sassy product of the 30’s and her upbringing by her Grandmother and her Uncle taught her compassion, charm, wit and most of all love…
My father was a child of “divorce” something unheard of in the 20’s…his upbringing taught him character as he was shuffled from place to place and always treated him like they (meaning whoever had him that week) were doing him a favor…he was a child..love was all he was looking for.
From these 2 amazing people I learned all of the above…but mostly I learned despite their imperfections they had the capacity to love me unconditionally.
As the clock ticks on my life..I always wonder if they would be disappointed in who I became. My brother was the success. Great job, great family, great wife. Stable, steady and productive. I on the other hand was a dreamer (which they supported) I was the creative theater girl…did my thing from the time I was in 4th grade. Music, comedy etc, but I was so busy thinking I might miss something, I never stood still long enough to enjoy the moment. It is like Ben Franklin said…”Lost time is never found again” and at 48 I am painfully aware of that.
So here’s to the “kids” who might have been a disappointment, who followed their own path, made mistakes and owned them and realize how precious time really is and thanks to my parents for allowing me to stumble and fall and especially for dusting me off and telling me to do it again…and mostly for saying I love you and honestly meaning it!